I know, I know. Feels like false advertisments, huh? Me, speaking of hobbits in the title, luring you in with the false promise of a second breakfast. But see, somehow my brain decided to put my fingers on auto pilot and spell out “hobbit” instead of “habit” when I wrote the title. I take it as an act of destiny (now I am thinking this in Geralt’s / Henry Cavill’s voice), and a hilarious one, too. So it stays. Period. Anyway, focus now….

Remember me talking about how I’m good at starting projects, but somewhat of a theoretician when it comes to finishing them? (Here’s where that started.) Now I wonder whether my approach to building habits has anything to do with it.

A gap is just a gap

Yesterday, I did not write anything. I ran, which is great (49:56 10k, best one so far, thanks for asking, queen :-*), but I somehow skipped taking the time to go on with my newest project (this here). Now, my guilty conscience consuming me, sitting here in a puddle of tears, I realize I have to take yet another wildly ambitious project to the graveyard (my constant reminder, the shameful set of forever-ignored private GitHub repositories, never to be shared with a living soul until my final day has come). Obviously, I can’t let that happen. Not this time, not after I spend hours designing and refining the beautifully tasteful pixel art panda on the landing page.

I see two doors:

Behind door number 1 is a siren offering me the sweet sweet kiss of comfort and self-sabotage. Opening it and leaning in means comfy cozy bed sheets and neverending regrets about my failed one chance at getting a pulitzer.

Behind door number 2 there’s the sweaty weightlifter’s butt of habit building. (Something tells me there’s a Norse proverb that fits this just perfectly.)

Today, I decide to put on some Blistex, kick in door number two (not that number two, jesus!), take a knee, do a full reach around with both my arms, and smooch that mf’er like I want to grab an apple from the bottom of the tub. My reward is, besides obviously questionable hygiene boundaries, and dire need for some mouth wash afterwards, a teeny tiny bit of joy and proof that I stick with this.

I turn on the laptop, and start writing a bit, and now I am super happy about that and realize that the gap yesterday was/is actually irrelevant, as long as I just don’t tell myself “Ah, I missed yesterday, and now that I fucked this up, I can just stop altogether”. Would’ve been much worse if I also had skipped today. Looking back at The list and my reps, I gotta say it really works as a reminder, I really really felt it calling me back. And I did come back, so it worked for me.

We agree that I will just go on with writing here, acting like the happy little accidental gap never happened. Maybe a small realization, IDK, but something inside my brain clicked that I feel may be more important later.

I hope this change of perspective helps me build habits more robustly when, which I am certain of, gaps in my routines or habits occur for likely good reasons. In the end, life happens, and definitely I won’t always be able to write or run or do this or that. I think this is just a reminder that slips happen, and they’re ok.

I kid you not, the whole time I was writing this, I kept thinking about hobbits. I know this feeling all too well. A feeling of hunger, that can only be calmed by watching Lord of the Rings 3 - Return of the King (Extended Edition). You should probably also go watch it.

Unrelated, here’s an image of Emmy: